etude of a menagerie on the milky way

So, I just played another Mario Party game with my brother who kept winning, and I kept feeling like a sore loser, and the game is still on hold. I wouldn't be surprised if that feeling increased immensely if I was invited to Thrown Controllers.

I haven’t been updating this since a couple of weeks ago, since I was dealing with fun things like nausea, stuffy noses, and ear aches. I sure hope that I’m not deaf. Anyways, a new school-related thing started following me, and I’m already interested, despite not even going to that school. It’s about any cheaters that go there and getting the dirt on them. Apparently, it’s supposed to spread awareness about said people and to keep people from suffering from getting hurt from said cheaters. I’m interested because I get to know(?) the bad people that go there without actually facing them nor actually going. Well, anyways. Before I forget, I just wanna list some things, mostly some vacation things:

Anyways, there was a goof with the Pikmin upload today, and I sure hope that: A.) my ear clears out, and B.) he continues uploading. Both in the same week, being this week. My apologies for not updating in so long. (I actually cannot wait for Easter, honestly) Keep on Dreaming. 4-9-19 🌟 (Couple of P.S. things: A.) I just heard Sail in a commercial, B.) I watched a convention vlog and happy-flapped like mad when I saw his face, and C.) the internet is being weird and that scares me.)

So, today I overslept like the ill weirdo I am, but... There’s gonna be the Colosseum (I’m not going to be able to spell that correctly, aren’t I?) stream(s) this year, and they’re expanding it by a day, which should be fun. Excluding the fact that my mom is still persistent in making me actually go to school. Damn. Talk about stubborn. What’s the fake prize this time, I wonder? Why the hell would I want to go? Anyways, I just watched a behind the scenes video of the first ever live show and tried to point anything out that I found interesting. All I found is that I got hot and bothered, and couldn’t find anything interesting. Mostly because I need to sleep. Keep on Dreaming. 4-10-19 🌟 (P.S., it’s a bit later and I think I worsened my mood from being a regular Negative Nancy to just being straight up upset and tearing up. I need mental help. I should just go to sleep, for tomorrow is a new, different day.)

I wanted to point out that we’re nearing the first anniversary of this. Weird. Anyways, we went to the mall today and when we got to the bookstore, I saw some Splatoon books and happy-flapped like mad. I even got one of them, which is volume 1 of the manga. Oh, and he returned to upload regularly! Yay! Y’know, I should get a fidget cube soon. And clean my room. And start a manga collection! Eh, I can’t think. I have Radio Gaga stuck in my head. Keep on Dreaming. 4-14-19🌟

It’s 3 am and I can't sleep. Fun. What's also not fun is that the Notre Dame cathedral had a fire. Well, it did remind me of my book and how a character (who was under the influence of the antagonist) burned down the manor and the surrounding area where she was held captive for years. And she killed her parents and everyone who lived in that area. And somehow lived? Meh, I just need to dump out my mind’s thoughts in order to go to sleep. I can’t think of anything else than whether I’ll go back to school or not by the end of this school year/actual year. Hopefully not. (I also have the Monty Python’s Flying Circus theme stuck in my head, so there's that...) Keep on dreaming. 4-15-19🌟

Y'know how people say that representation matters, and what would make me feel very happy? The day I watch an animated film where the main character is a nonverbal autistic. Just like me. I just want a canon autistic weirdo as the main protagonist in a movie, is that too much to ask? Anyways, I was watching a tour vlog to New Jersey, and I was like, “That's what the other side of the country looks like?” Like, it feels weird knowing that when you have lived in the west coast your entire life. Like, things exist outside this part of the country? There's states that don’t touch the ocean? There's states that touch different countries? (Washington does that, but still) There's states that don’t have mountains? That's weird. The other parts of the country don't even feel real. The other parts of the world don't feel real. Anyways, I want something interesting to happen tomorrow when I wake up so I have something to mumble on and on about on the first anniversary of this mess. Keep on dreaming. 4-17-19 🌟

Yeah, so I was actually going to update this two days ago, but I was too tired. Luckily, I remember two stand out-ish things from that day. A.) when we went to that Mexican restaurant, they gave me horchata instead of Coke, which I really don’t mind. Mostly because the horchata was a yummy surprise. Oh, and B.) the sunset was really pretty that day, as well. Anyways, my mom showed me a video which is about Costco in Japan, the U.K., and Mexico. Which is pretty neat as its own, but... Japanese Costco? Sign me the hell up. They still have the churros like the ones over here, which is a miracle. Well, I gotta put that on the bucket list. Anyways, his Zelda playthrough ended today, and whatever the next one is, he says that it’s going to be from a new franchise. Wonder what it is. Oh, and also, we went to the mall again today. Which was interesting. What’s also interesting is that tomorrow’s Easter. Yay. Keep on Dreaming. (It’s) 4-20-19, (man.) 🌟

So, that predicament came upon me again. The Friends Predicament™, is the name that I finally came up with. You already know The Friends Predicament™. It’s that dread of being in a group and actually participating in its conversations. There’s two things I already don’t like. Participating in things, and socialization. Scary. How does one make friend without being exhausted and scared and vulnerable? I hate showing emotions, (physically, duh.) if you couldn’t tell. Good lord, I’m so complicated. Keep on Dreaming. 4-21-19 🌟

So, I just spent some time looking at some screenshots of a chat that I had with an online friend I had until August/September of last year. Like, some legit socialization. And my only thought is, “Why?” Why did I let go of this conversation? Is there some way I can rejuvenate this and become friends again? Like, she actually encouraged me and all of those friend-like things. It didn’t work, but still! Will she ever come back to insignificant ol’ me? Does she still know me? Does she still follow me on social media? Does she know that I still exist? I feel like she has better chemistry with other people, so... I wonder if she forgot about me, or if she started to dislike me. Hmm. We may never know. Anyways, his Zelda let’s play officially ended, and now is the time to start waiting the five weeks until the next one. Fun. Keep on dreaming. 4-23-19 🌟 (P.S., some more things. A.) Will it be sunny and warm anytime soon? B.) just wrote some wonderful angsty stuff (where the main character is getting closer to dying right next to her loved ones) all for fun and probably won’t be actually used. But still. C.) What would she think of me now? And D.) I just remembered yesterday looking at zodiac posts and thinking, “I’m gonna change the world one day!”)

So, I thought of something. What would my parents think of me being autistic? Would they continue on heckling me or actually chill out about it for once? Or would they make the heckling even worse? 'Cause, like, both times an analysis on whether I am or not has been turned down. Like, why? It kinda reminds me of how I wonder if his friends knows that he is autistic... Because it seems like they don't. Will he ever tell that to them? Hmm. (I should totally go to the original Starbucks if we go during the summer.) Keep on dreaming. 4-25-19 🌟 (P.S. A hockey team that's pretty close to mine won a lengthy game 7. Good job, guys. Go Wild Card squad! Oh, and also... there's a super catchy mashup with a song from Smash Ultimate and one of the other songs mashed up is one from a musical I've never seen, but is stuck in my head. Hah...)

Y'know, I wonder how today was for him. Was it a regular day? A legitimately wonderful day? Who knows? I also wonder how these next few months are gonna be. I feel some legitimately exciting things are on the horizon, but that's probably just the Colosseum streams. Should I do what I did last year and set an alarm for it, or should I wake up naturally? Hmmm. I also wonder how this summer is gonna be like. Anyways, last night I had a dream about taking a train like the monorail at Disneyland to some sort of class. I couldn't see inside the train, but I do remember seeing the moon, and Gymnopedie no. 1 was playing as well. Wonder what that means. Keep on dreaming. 4-26-19 🌟

Hello, it is I, back at it again with the nightly mind dumps. I was just watching a stream of someone who’s a good friend of his packing. He's moving, duh. The thing is though, he (friend) doesn't have the safe, enthusiastic, comfortable energy that he (crush) has, so he feels less approachable. And his streams are usually 6 hours long. No thank you. He does have a very good sense of humor, though. He's absolutely hilarious. But, I feel like he would laugh at me when I say what hockey team I’m a huge fan of. Ugh. Anyways, you know what I could seriously go for? Some CPK. Yum. And also one of those dreams. The ones I don't want to end and I end up thinking of all day. Those ones. Keep on dreaming. 4-27-19 🌟

So. I think I made a really stupid mistake. I transferred a crap ton of switch stuff on the same SD card my phone uses. Which doesn't seem all that bad until the "storage room is running out" notification appeared. Fun. Now, I'm trying to get all of the photos from my phone onto my computer. Why me? Oh, and also, we cleaned my room yesterday at last. Yay. Now, it's up to me to screw it all up in record time. I think I need a new phone... Keep on dreaming. 4-28-19 🌟

So, here’s a couple of things: I saw a Sgt. Pepper vinyl at Target yesterday which made me very happy. The other day I started watching Rilakkuma and Kaoru on Netflix and I really like it. It’s super cute and relaxing. I’m also watching a let’s play of a game based off of America’s Next Top Model from the before-mentioned good friend and his wife, and it’s hilarious. So hilarious, I almost started choking just now. Ick. I paused numerous times during it just to finish laughing. Oh, and two things that make me feel happy currently: the S’mores Frappuccino from Starbucks is returning tomorrow. Yay. Hope my mom can get one for me. Also, I smile when I remember that a Costco Membership can be used in any location worldwide. Imagine having a churro and a bunch of yummy samples at a Japanese Costco, or buying a delicious-looking Victoria Sandwich at an English Costco. I’d go just for that. Mmmm. I’m hungry if you couldn’t tell. At the least convenient time, of course. It’s gonna be May!: Keep on Dreaming. 4-29-19🌟

Y’know, I’m pretty excited for May. As per usual. Whenever I think of May, I just think of cherry blossom-esque shades of pink and Splatoon. I might wanna consider opening my windows tomorrow. You know what I should do? Make a Discord account and pray that I’ll land in a group similar to the one I ended up in during Summer of 2017. Hmmm, I might consider doing that. Right, and this weekend is Colosseum weekend. Fun. It’ll be nice seeing his face in-between projects. Hhhhh, I’m so tired and it’s only 12 in the morning. What a surprise. Y’know, I wonder if I’ll ever find the perfect group of friends and have our own inside jokes and whatever. As far as I know, it’s only me, and my crazy thoughts. We could travel the world, thoughts and I. But I crave living in Southern California in a cozy apartment and riding my bike along the ocean. Not to mention that I seemingly cannot live all by myself. But, it’s just a thought. I should continue writing soon, as well. Keep on dreaming. 4-30-19🌟